You So Handsome!

Immediately after arriving in my new hometown of Gumi, two of my coteachers picked me up in a car and took me to my new school to meet the principal, my predecessor, and a few other teachers and students. We arrive and go to the principal's office first. I take off my shoes, walk in, shake his hand and sit down. Almost immediately, he tells me, through my translating coteacher, that I'm very handsome. I thank him, thinking that it's a little weird but just chalking it up to cultural differences, something being lost in translation, or just him being an open guy that likes to flatter people. He then goes on to give me a full face reading: my smile conveys that I'm a bright, optimistic person, my well-manicured hair tells him that I'm very disciplined, and my glasses tell him that I keep up with the latest trends. My first reaction: this is uncomfortable. My second reaction: he's pretty bad at this.

I then go upstairs to my new classroom to meet some of the students. It's a Tuesday so the fourth graders are there. Fourth graders who were so excited about having a new teacher that they decided to ambush him as soon as he walked in the door. I'm greeted with a chorus of "Hello!" "What's your name?" "Nice to meet you!" and "You so handsome!" There it is again! I think to myself, "Okay, there are only three possible explanations for this: I'm looking really good today, it's a cultural thing to tell people you've just met that they're handsome, or these fourth graders are drunk."

Turns out that it's a cultural thing (the kids only had a buzz). Koreans put a lot of emphasis on appearances. Telling a person that they're handsome doesn't seem to be so much of a comment on their attractiveness as it is an approval that they've passed the initial appearances test. They're saying, "You're not fat, you don't have a neckbeard, you don't smell funny, and you're not wearing jorts. You seem like a decent human being and we can now proceed to the next step of talking and possibly becoming friends." I think that a lot of it comes down to the Korean people's focus on efficiency. They have very little free time and they're not interested in wasting it on a person who might not be worth it. Harsh, but understandable.

I'm tempted to leave this post here on a not-necessarily-high-note-but-not-a-low-note-either; however, it would be wrong and deceptive of me to only mention positive and neutral aspects of the culture while leaving out, what I perceive to be, the negative ones. The truth is, unfortunately, this strong cultural emphasis on appearances has made South Korea the plastic surgery capital of the world. One in five women from Seoul have had plastic surgery and the number for women 18-30 is believed to be above 50%. The general tendency is towards a western appearance: round face, straight nose, eyes that open wider, and, most shockingly, double eyelids. Plastic surgery in South Korea has turned into a nuclear arms race. People get plastic surgery so that they'll be more confident. But, in doing so, they make others less confident, making them feel the need to get (more) plastic surgery. This vicious cycle continues to spin out of control. Hopefully, it will stop one day but it certainly doesn't seem to be slowing down any time soon.



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